Think that a divorce can’t be happy? While there are sure to be emotional moments, you may be surprised to learn that divorce doesn’t have to be the frustrating, tumultuous time that it is often depicted as. You can make the best of it, and you can see how the divorce could be a positive step in your life, especially in the long run. As you work through a collaborative divorce, keep the following tips in mind:
Always Focus on the Future
You don’t want to beat yourself up thinking about what could have been or what life used to be like. Divorce is a change, and change is often hard, but it’s also often very good. It opens up more doors for you to do the things you’ve always wanted to do and to create the happy life you crave. Focus on those positive aspects, think about how you can best take steps to improve your life, and you’ll see the good side of divorce more easily.
Put the Kids First
If you have children, keep them the center of your focus. Many people get bogged down in a negative divorce because they focus on fighting with their ex. If you have kids, their happiness needs to be your number one priority. When you take steps to create the best possible life for them, you’ll find this process far more fulfilling and uplifting.
Don’t Get Too Attached to Your Things
Letting things go is easier said than done, of course, but splitting up assets can be very hard, and it’s easier if you’re not emotionally attached to things that you can just buy again after the divorce. Remember that all material things are replaceable. Don’t get hung up on little things that don’t matter, letting their loss drag you down.
Communicate with Your Ex
One of the biggest issues, both during and after divorce, is a lack of communication. However, if you keep those lines open, things can go more smoothly. Tell your ex what you want and listen when he or she tells you the same thing. You may find that you agree on more than you assumed–your ex wants the summer house, for example, while you want the family home–which can make drafting parenting plans, dividing assets, and everything else go more easily.
Commit to Yourself
Your own mindset is incredibly important when you get divorced. It will be hard at times, but you have to commit to being happy. Make a list of the things that are truly important, like your future and your children, and put your time and energy into those things. When you’re dedicated to staying positive, you’ll find that it’s very possible, even during divorce.